candies are LOVED.

2010-02-20T00:21:00.001+08:00

bye. im done here.
going far far away!solong!!! suckess!!

love the peaceful moments.

2010-02-09T23:13:00.000+08:00

me and the dearest boyfriend had one of the peaceful moments today and it turned out sexy and bloody awesome.
packed some homemade mee soto which i cooked from scratch for his mum and himself and off to meet him after an hour of him waiting for me at bb.
so after a late lunch of chicken rice and rojak, we went off to our first date to the library. cutekan? hah.

so we searched some books and magazines. sat down and indulged with our own self-readings.
boyfriend was super engrossed with the animal magazines.
haha. so we were there almost 3 hours before we headed down to eat some prata:)

it was awesome and i love it:)
ilybaby!

CAN'T WAIT FOR VALENTINE'S DAY THE MOVIE!!!:)

Photos – 6 Moves for a Sexy Bikini Body – Step 1: Chair Pose (Butt, Thighs, Calves) – UsMagazine.com

2010-02-08T21:28:00.001+08:00

Photos – 6 Moves for a Sexy Bikini Body – Step 1: Chair Pose (Butt, Thighs, Calves) – UsMagazine.com

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sucha lovely day!

2010-02-06T23:54:00.000+08:00

had an awesome date with boyfriend:)
and im full!
and

HAPPY MONTHSARY IN ADVANCE BABY!

the best i ever had:)

2010-02-06T01:00:00.000+08:00

the cute pretty charlie's angels.

i love them to bits!

so today i babysit them.

yes, babysitted them. these cute adorable angels

who kept on going

bibik nonoi how to do this!

bibik nonoi dont leave!

bibik here and bibik there

i love them all!

and best of all!!!!!

dearest boyfriend came.

and he willingly, i swear willingly came to their house

and waited for me till i'm done babysitting them

and it was abit of difficulty when putting them to sleep.

just put this way,

it was an awesome day!

2010-02-04T23:24:00.000+08:00

when we fight, we show our claws,

slashing each other with our rude mouths.

but deep down inside,

we believe our hearts still and always will be beating

towards the same rhythem

which is the music of OUR love.

baby,baby, baby...

i love today and the sexy ~~lustful~~ time we had with each other.

i love you no matter what.

ilysm.

2010-02-03T10:59:00.002+08:00

thought u are the one who will truly love me, but at the same time, u are the one who destroys me.

2010-02-02T08:10:00.000+08:00

dearest boyfriend,

thank you for being here with me and may we always be blessed by Allah

and pray for strength to go through all the ups and downs together.

and soon, we be officially belongs to one another.

i love you and you know it true.

A BLISSFUL AND BLAST BIRTHDAY DATE:)

2010-02-01T20:02:00.000+08:00

oh yes, i turned twenty yesterday and the dearest boyfriend was announcing to the whole world, in loud whispers that im old.

anyway, the dearest boyfie of mine, took the effort to dress up for his dearest babygirl's bday:D which made him to come late to fetch me and i was super mad and i kept on swearing at him but like usual, the boy is always COOL with it:D

dearest bought a half a thousand buckie ____________ for me as a bday present.
bagos mataer aku ni!
hahaha
we ate at secret recipe and watch tooth fairy. boyfriend nye suke! keep on laughing and laughing.
but the movie is awesome. go catch it.

head down to 313 to eat rock mountain ice cream.. SEEDDDAAAPPPP!!!!!

okay, i love yesterday and im lazy to blog.
so gonna go tido now! nites!

2010-01-25T00:17:00.001+08:00

let just put it this way...
i have an awesome + angry + sexy + ~~lust~~ + sexcited + LOVE times ever! back to back!!!!!

and baby is makg big fuss of gaining weight!

nevertheless, loving him always.

suka:D

2010-01-20T19:31:00.000+08:00

u know, after all those crappy shits that i had with boyfriend, i settle down, at last! and list all the urgent stuff i had to do.
headed to the gym for awesome workout with buddy.
and im in love with this novel entittled things i want my daughters to know, by elizabeth noble.
its super good and touching and making me teary now and then. go read it!
im gonna go grocery shopping later. gonna get some hearty and healthy things to eat!

2010-01-20T13:00:00.002+08:00

gonna go gym and work my phatty fatty ass out and get back home happily.

2010-01-20T00:14:00.002+08:00

met up with boyfriend just now in the afternoon and we kinda back to our old norm mode.
hope this will last and i got to do things fast!

and i swear, i dont remember where i put my O's cert.

where did i go wrong?

2010-01-18T20:51:00.001+08:00

i dont get it. seriously, i dont. i dont understand why u have to be super mean? i dont understand why u are u acting like a brainless jerk? i dont understand why u have to flare up ur anger at me? i dont understand why u love breaking promises? i dont understand.
i dont understand. i seriously dont get it.

hearts.

2010-01-16T23:44:00.000+08:00

this was an awesome day which i had tons of fun with my nieces aka charlie's angels and kakak nana's beautiful wedding
plus.
tons of pictures taken
and despite my bobbby was hurt by splashes of water spilled over him.
tsktsk.
sedih but i know bobbby wont give up on me.
right? fighting till the end right? i know.

looking very very bright on the other side. :D

2010-01-14T23:26:00.000+08:00

yes. yes. i have to admit that i am not on track with my fitness and my moodswing is way swinger than what i expected.
all this happened because of the problem that both me and boyfriend are facing. no. its more of my boyfriend's problem instead of mine.
after almost 8 years of not studying. boyfriend just realised how essential is education, especially in singapore. and this issue is making me going bonkers cause he is sooo paranoid about all these stuffs.
and it irritates me. sorry syg, but u are really really making me fussy angry.

and u got to know that you need way good results, in everything you are doing.
till now, i kinda cant get over the fact that i flung my science subjects. i mean not getting F9 okay.. like beyond what i expected. after all those hard work i put in.
put aside the As and the Bs or even Cs. without good science result, u wont get good science stuff to in poly.

and, i can't believe that i'm one step behind from getting into university.

on the other hand, i miss my friends alot. like super alot.
i miss azie talking crap and her paranoia mode on things
i miss haha stucking her food in between her front teeth
i miss ria drawing stuff on her papers when she is bored.
i miss calling zahidah abu
i miss fuad reaction upon seeing certain insects
i miss aini giler-ness
i miss shafika high pitch voice
i miss izyan getek-ness
i miss handry lameness
i miss mehru child-like mindset
i miss disturbing jack.
i miss seeing hafiz y bapok-ness
i miss scolding hafiz r
i miss listening to hafiz s whinings
i miss mr tan laid-back and hip personality
i miss mr george lim
i miss ms choo voice when she wanna 'kill' us
i miss fathona looking at the mirror everytime and her melatah
i miss hidayah's long hair
i miss zara bangs tits and her melatah
i miss sab gendol and her melatah
i miss mai and her saggy boobs
i miss zul's crossed-eye moments
i miss aini melatah
i miss aziemah's gelap-ness
and the list goes on.
yes, i miss you people.

it sucks to have this feeling you know. and its scary what the future has for us.
but one thing i know, the lovedones gonna be here and so is my boyfriend :D

this weekend, one of the sarbin's family gonna tie a knot. and this resulted my mother to ask me, again, when i'm gonna get married? cos she wanna be grannie to little khairuls and little farzanas.
haaa.
im sorry if im gonna sound corny
but i think its very sweet for a guy to realy tell the girlfriend that he feels lucky to have the girlfriend with them.
and that was what my boyfriend told me just now.
:D suke!!

i want go harvard and study law! and i will :D

and i promise, im gonna get back on track! i want get new phone. maybe iphone or blackberry or xperia2.
idk which one to choose cos i like all of them:D
and i wanna get a violet car once i get my licence:D

and i just marinated chicken wings for tomorrow!
and i did zumba just now. okay lah.. blh thn gerek.

okay, nak sleep!
jumpa lagi ya!

2010-01-13T09:12:00.000+08:00

i don't what gotten into me lately.
i am one freaking LAZY person. dumb right lazy. lazy to do this, lazy to do that.
lazy giler babi!!
and today i kind of do something unsual, not my daily morning routine which consisted of:

1. go toilet, do all the business and investments
2. brush teeth
3. drink hot plain water to flush any toxins.

what i did was.
after brushing and doing all that investments.
i straight away go and eat some beef pie.
and now im feeling all disgusting inside.

lately, also, boyfriend is facing alot of problems. work-related. and seriously its affecting us alot and he seemed to do all his best to avoid from going to work.
ni mamat pun ngok jugak ar. no work = no money. no money = no spending.
nanti sape susah?? KITER jugak ;(

i hope things will be better. now off to gym.

damn.

2010-01-12T17:50:00.000+08:00

okay, out of sudden i'm kinda scared and having zees butterflies in my tummy.
and i wander..when will Alevels results be released???
SERAM OII!!

on the other hand, aku masih gemOK.

2010-01-12T15:25:00.001+08:00

HONESTLY

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND VERY MUCH

AND NOT FORGETTING MY DEAREST FAMILY:)

how come its always like that??

2010-01-12T01:40:00.001+08:00

as i stated before, yesterday was my date with dearest boyfriend. and as usual, not really that usual, boyfriend broke his promises, again and caused us to argue like crazy. particularly on ME, who seemed to be losing my sanity and patience- started to yell and scream at him on the phone. i mean, who wouldn't right? if you keep on doing the same old stuff that your partner dislike or hate the most. and lately, he has been having tons of problems which he LOVES to keep in his brains. and when this happens, he started to think super much and will then affect our ties. u got a partner for what? for display only is it? no right.
and it hurts badly when i'm there for him and he literally throw his bad irritating tantrums at me for no good god damn reasons. bilang aku sekarang.. sape takkan marah betol tak??? tell me girls..wouldn't u get angry with this stuff????
and i was telling that if he was to be late and not at my area by 4.30, we would split.
i know its a bad tactic to use but girls, do try it in case of emergency cos guys ALWAYS thought we girls will cling on them tightly and will follow and obey whatever they say without retaliating back. BULLSHIT okays. especially if the girlfriend is educated.
i think guys nowadays should remember that NOT ALL girls are fragile and not independent cos we are.
*all the women independent put your hands up at me!!*

and i was surprised that boyfriend reached super early and this shows he loves me:D

me: now i know u truly love us. u sanggup turun before 4.30
him: yelah i truly love u pe and i sanggup tau tak mandi betol2 utk jumpe u awal. mandi ke jap je tapi berak lamer ar.. see, i syg u lah.

see!!! sweet right??

anyway, when we met, we headed to Breeks at Taka for lunch cum dinner.
had alot of food such as baffalo wings, waffle fries, triple choc milkshake, black forest mocha. boyfriend had sirloin steak while i had grilled chicken. sedap!!
and the bill was the same as swenson bill which we ordered kinda little than breeks.
and boyfriend was having bad tummyaching that we had to sit down near the road for half an hour.
i was bloody bored that i kept on reading the advertisements on the taxis.
we headed 313 @ somerset and went to HMV to get boyfriend's cd and he bought for me two awesome love novels.
and he plans to send me to go slimming centre! hahahahah.,
cute kan, cute kan??? heee.
and ALHAMDULILAH, things are back to normal and better.
ILY boyfriend!!

also, brother got his results which were not as good but okay lah. can go all the poly courses.

i miss boyfriend already and now, im gonna get some sleep as besok i got kereta lesson!

let's have something proper.

2010-01-10T21:46:00.001+08:00

i swear. i swear i have been neglecting myself. seriously. not forgetting this blog of mine too and also fits with boyfriend which continuously happening without a full stop at the end of the fights. its super messy and sucky.
we tried ~~killing~~ each other alot of times with words. i think its me. i ~~killed~~, almost! with all those harshy words yet boyfriend stood up with a smile. tell me, who can get angry when your boyfriend always do that when u throw all your anger at him?? not forgetting he was the cause for it lah. i think im an ultimate attention seeker in diguise. hah!

anyway, i have to be honest. i have neglected my fitness too. didn't update my fitnesspal for almost 3 days. i guess its because im in the mood swing mode. my period has yet to come. and its overdue. urgh. hate the feeling you know.
but i promise i will get back on track.

ALSO.
i was having major problems with the parents. seriously, i couldn't stand any of their typical stigmatic attitude. they seem to be very negative in some of the stuff i wanna go for. wth right? i thought parents are supposed to be supportive. and it irritates me very much when im penniless. ~~not penis-less~~ okays. at the first place i aint have one.
and thanks to boyfriend who doesnt allowed me to go work since he volunteer to be my personal bank. gerek or what?
inilah kekasih hatiku berkata padaku. don't need to work.

syg, u dont need to work okays. i jage your expenditure.

he prefers me to stay at home, do my driving and go for my amore.
:D
cutekan? i know.

anyway, boyfriend and me nearly split which was a nightmare for us but we didn't cos we truly love each other. so to make up to me, boyfriend took leave to meet me and we talked things out at udders sambil eating ice-cream with waffles. and we meeting up tomorrow for our usual dates:) ilysm baby!

lately, i have been reading alot weightloss blogs and the success of them losin weight is doable. ini also bermaksud aku can make it:)
i like my new HD flat screen. it super flat that the shows look bigger. hah!

anyway,
GOOD LUCK FOR TOMORROW WHOEVER IS TAKING THEIR O'LEVELS RESULT!!!

and that goes to my brother who is currently feeling so agitated and scared and horrified for tomorrow's result.
i was feeling the same way too but worse cause i really thought i couldn't make it.
and soon. it will be MY TURN.ALEVELS RESULT.
but for now, let's focus on the freedom we have aite.

that's all. promise that i will update everyday:D loves!

ps. i love you supermuch khairul. and i swear i do. mak i tanye, biler mau kahwin?? haha

2010-01-08T17:59:00.001+08:00

i promise im gonna work things out with dearest boyfriend:D
i promise im gonna work things out with more patience and understanding.

i love you khairul. i swear i do.

there is somethng awesome to look for.

2010-01-07T19:03:00.002+08:00

seriously, it hasnt been great for our relationship. boyfriend has been an asshole lately. nvm.
anw, weight loss has been great.
and going for karaoke session tmr.
and did i tell u that baked fries is the sex?!
haaa. its super nice!!
okay, im lazy to blog.

HAPPY MONTHSARY SYG!!! I LOVE YOU:D
may our relationship will always be blessed by Allah and may we be better persons in the future.

fark

2010-01-06T20:46:00.001+08:00

sometimes the one who you truly look upon will be the one hitting u
hard till u fall defeated.

and i swear, i hate it.

the day that u and me nearly lose it.

2010-01-06T09:29:00.003+08:00

yesterday was ultimate nightmare despite the day started awesome. boyfriend picked me up from my driving class and we had our first breakfast together( cos we usually have our lunch and dinner instead)
and we were all happy after watching sherlock holmes when the night came, we argued like mad and i left boyfriend alone at the void deck while my tears streaming down like gushing river.
indeed, i asked for a split but he resisted it badly since he knows that i truly love him.
yes, i declared defeat. i am in love with him.
after an hour of him pleading and asking to continue and me resisted every of his pleading.
i succumb to the situation where our love is strong and will be stronger.

so we are starting anew and insyallah, after this hurtful incident, we gonna be better people. insyallah.

I LOVE YOU KHAIRUL, AND WILL ALWAYS DO

:D

2010-01-04T21:16:00.001+08:00

my motivation is back. im not dat moody or down
but im kinda worried cos im having constipation. ugh.

on the other hand, two more days to anniversary:D!!

2010-01-04T15:12:00.000+08:00

lately, its been crazy. and i find that the route is getting wacko.

excitement in the air, not.

2010-01-03T15:32:00.002+08:00

boyfriend has been all excited for his fitness routine that he cant wait to start it soon. cute or what? the fridge has yet to come and the new lcd teevee looks good. better sound system
and im not in the mood to do anything.

can't wait!

2010-01-02T22:38:00.002+08:00

seriously, i have been spending alot of time with the family which i think its a good thing since i dont usually see them around.
i didn't make the wholewheat pizza since im out of cheese.
wanted feta cheese but it wasnt on stock. maybe tomorrow:)
so i settled with steamed vegetables and fish.
had my 5 km walk, with family.

anyway, boyfriend and me are changing our dates.
i mean, instead of the same old boring routines, we are cracking it up for something awesome.
like going for cycling or working out together.
i mean we have to right since im getting serious (at last!) with weight loss and boyfriend wanna have better and healthy lifestyle.

okay, thats it!

2010-01-02T13:04:00.002+08:00

im back from getting the flu vaccine and still feeling ugh deep inside as i have wasted my 17 bucks lesson. whatever.
anyway, im home with siblings while parents are out for wedding reception to attend to.
im reading some awesome weight loss blogs and i find this lady's comment at Fat[Free]Me blog an awesome one. so here i am quoting it here.
(credits to Alix!)
Lets get down to brass tacks, shall we? Weight loss is daunting. If it were easy there wouldn't be a multi-billion dollar weight loss industry including the likes of Jenny Craig, Nutri-System, Weight Watchers, and all the bogus supplements and diet aids and green tea extract nonsense. Everyone is looking for the magic pill. The magic bullet. But we know that chasing those hollow promises only keeps us fat and miserable.To step out in faith and to finally accept that the only true and lasting road to sustainable health and fitness is to do it the old fashioned way: eat less, move more. That's the first critical step. I'd convinced myself for ten years that because of my hypothyroid disorder I just couldn't lose weight no matter how hard I tried. The truth is, I didn't try very hard. I didn't try very long. I got easily discouraged and distracted and went straight back to my old familiar ways. Sound familiar?I felt my last and only hope was gastric bypass surgery or at the very least - LapBand surgery. Then last January 29th I asked my doctor if we could discuss it. He encouraged me to give diet and exercise one last chance. Sigh. Okay. I went home and signed up for Weight Watchers Online and on a Thursday at the end of January (odd timing) I jumped on the WW bandwagon. Six months later, I was 70 pounds lighter. Not typical, but I always do things to the extreme. In my mind I had to over compensate for being 50 years old, for having hypothyroid disease, and for being on the threshold of menopause. So I followed WW to the letter and exercised (literally) my ass off. I had the time and opportunity to invest in myself, so if I didn't do it while I could - then when?Three key things kept me motivated:1) If all those "Half My Size" folks in People Magazine could do it, why not me? If all those "Biggest Loser" people could lose weight, why not me? If Oprah and Kirstie and Valerie can lose weight, why not me? Why NOT me?2) Give yourself six solid months and see what happens. Regardless of whether you lose or don't lose - commit to dieting and exercising for six months. Then reassess. Either way, the six months will be here soon enough. What condition will I be in if I honestly give it my best effort. I know what condition I'll be in if I don't.3) Hope is not a strategy. If you sit around hoping you'll change, you won't. If you wish your weight away, it's not going anywhere. You must reset your mind and body by actively pursuing your goals. Albert Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. The only true way to reverse your situation is to reverse your actions. Whatever it is you're doing to stay fat and unfit - turn around - start doing the opposite. Challenge yourself, make it fun, keep your eye on the horizon - not on the line you're walking. That's the surest way of losing your balance.Finally - trust yourself. Trust that you can accomplish your goals. Trust that you have the power, the ability, the sticktoitiveness to see yourself through to a healthier happier you. The only thing that's been standing in your way, is you.You can do it. You can. If fat old Alix can do it - ANYONE can. I promise

i hope it gives a motivation to whoever is going for weight loss, like me
thats all for now. gonna make some green tea and wholewheat pizza!

URGH.

2010-01-02T08:42:00.002+08:00

IM FREAKING LATE FOR DRVING CLASS.
SUPER LATE THAT I CANT GO. WHAT'S THE POINT RIGHT?
YOU GO, STILL YOU CANT ENTER THE CLASS.
alarm clock died on me, my sister who was all awake after her exercise routine didnt BOTHER to wake me up.
and yes, 17 bucks gone just like that because i didnt go.
dats it, im bad mood.

random

2010-01-01T15:02:00.005+08:00

today, i volunteered to cook. actually i cook everyday for the family and for my man.
and we having chapati with keema and grilled chicken with salsa sauce and lots of vegetables to go with it.
and fruit juice is A MUST!
however, i couldnt go poo poo. i hate constipation. really hate it. ugh. any remedies??
boyfriend was being so cheeky and stuff lah. at work also wanna be cheeky. cousins and family are now at Jakarta. have fun people!!
and the Sarbin's side is going to celebrate a happy day for my cousin who is getting married in 3 weeks time! confirm sexcited!!
okay now, im going to go makan. later!

and boyfriend was sooo excited about getting our first sportshoes together. funny right??

Syg, dont forget we getting the same shoes this tuesday!!!
and i want us to get the nike shoes!!

speechless for a mo.

2010-01-01T00:48:00.002+08:00

If i don't love you, do you think i will kneel down and tie your shoelaces in front of everyone?

2010!

2010-01-01T00:22:00.002+08:00

well, its New Year! just hang up with boyfriend who is working the following day. pity pity poo.
since i didnt go party or celebrate with friends or homies or even boyfriend, i had an awesome time with family. we kinda had our pre-new year eat out session just now.
so much for me going for my 5km brisk walking!

met them at BB before proceeding to Watsons to get our stuff. mum wanted to buy Xando Coffee but it's out of stock. so we settled with SlimSpa Green tea.
and did i tell you that Olay latest stuff, the body butter cum soap is super awesome?!!
ur body will be full with glitters after using it! hah!

anyway, i had ginger tea which is giving me bowel problems now. pfft.
and when we were having our dinner just now, a group of malay mats & minahs
came and sat near to our tables. and they were SHOUTING out LOUD on how lame to celebrate New Year here and not at sentosa as they were broke and they were telling the whole world how shitty its going to be since school is starting soon.
for a moment, just chill aite?
no biggy right? go to school, get yourself an education and be educated = saving yourself from a disastrous future. so why making big fuss? pfft.
and their hairs..tsktsk, reminded me the golden monkeys in the zoo.
no offence but seriously, you shouldnt go for TOTALLY BLONDE when your skin is dark.
you look like _____________. seriously, no comment.
and talking about this, it reminded me of yesterday irritating incident.
boyfriend wanted to go to the loo when a group of mats singing out LOUDLY neyo's songs with their tak boleh angkat voices and were literally shouting and laughing out like hyenahs. urgh. AND
THEY WERE COMPARING WHOSE DICK IS SMALLER. -_-
and i could hear it from the ladies. pathetic right?
and some chinese ladies were just shaking their heads. memalukan.

are we, malays only good at this kind of thing?? tsk.tsk.
its not like i dislike being a malay. im proud being a malay girl but seriously, we can change the stigma that people post on our foreheads if we start to make changes. right?? better person for better malay community.

So this is it. new year and insyallah a better year and may we be blessed always in anything we do :)
if you didnt achieve the golas you set for yourself, this year, lets put more efforts to get what we want.

NITES!!:)

reality check.

2009-12-31T16:56:00.003+08:00

today is my cheat day. I'm having tall glass of pear-grapes-green apple-celery-orange concoction with some kerepoks irony? u bet.

so here i was enjoying my irony food intake while watching this Malaysian programme named Fitrah Kasih.
Fitrah Kasih is a programme where people come forward and plead for help to search for their missing relatives or lovedones.
and if the missing people are found, the one who pleaded for help will come to the show and get interviewed.
i watch this programme every thursday. and almost every episode, make me cry.
it's very sad to see how people are still heartless.
and today's episode was the most saddest one, for me. i cried, mum cried.
this lady who i cant remembered the name, wanted to meet her dad badly. its been years she's been waiting for her dad to come back to the family. and when she thought she will be meeting her dad on the show just now, the uncle came instead, bringing the death certificate of her dad.
she broke down so badly and even the ustaz and ustazah who came to give their advices, broke down into tears.
its soo sad but this is life right?? hopefully the lady will be fine and may Allah give her the strength to accept the realilty that her father had passed away.

gonna get ready to go for my 5 km walk.

NEW YEAR'S EVE

2009-12-31T11:40:00.002+08:00

here i am blogging while sipping english breakfast and jotting down stuffs that i have to do this January while listening to Esmee Denters awesome songs.
gotta admit that January will be a busy month. tests to take and fitness to handle.
and im quite surprised that I HAVE NO PLANS TODAY!!!
not going out or even partying out:) since boyfriend is working and he doesnt allowed me to go out partying without him, so im gonna rot myself here at home, cooking some hot soup and slurping down awesome healthy fruit juices.

dearest boyfriend is at work now and confirm he is moody. hah!
boyfriend has been awesome lately. ilysm syg!

anyway, like any other years, i LOVE to recap the stuffs that happened during that year.
so here it goes.

2009'S STUFFS.
- the year i have to sit for Alevels. sounds eery, u bet.
- awesome awang belanga
- hospitalised during march holidays. all alone since parents werent in Singapore
- got to know awesome friends such as LISA!
- amore was my darling until i stop for awhile because of study
-MET AWESOME BOYFRIEND and alhamdulilah, we are going strong.
-lose weight (but regain back cos emotional eating!)
-DIDNT ATTEND SCHOOL FOR ALMOST A MONTH DURING OCTOBER DUE TO LUNGS INFECTION!
-friends come and go
-learn that the lovedones are the awesome people.
-went indonesia with mum and iman
-went KL with awesome cousin.
-stuck with green tea; thanks to ayu!
-got new sexy handphone
-cut my curly long hair!
-HOT SEXY AWESOME TIMES WITH DEAREST BOYFRIEND!!

okay, that's all i can think.
for the year 2010, i pray that Allah will Always give His blessings in everything i do, in everything i risk, in everything i want.
may Allah give me strength to face any ups and downs in life and in love.
may Allah always protect my family and dearest ones from danger and harm
may Allah always give me the courage to be a stronger person to face all the challenges
may Allah protect me from sins that can be avoided and not giving in too much to lust-the ultimate nemesis.
may Allah accept my calls in every prayers i do and forgive all our sins.
and also, may Allah always be here with me.
also, my Allah always bless my relationship with my boyfriend and may him be my soulmate for life, insyallah.
amin.
lagipun, aku yakin Allah akan menolong aku kerna Allah takkan kecewakan hamba-hambaNya

im not too religious person but u do need a strong religious belief in life so that your life will be balanced. not too much yin or yang. just nice.
and also, i hope that i will be a better person who wants to listen and understand with her heart and stop using vulgarities to hurt people feelings.
also, be someone who care more for others and not be selfish and to learn to think wisely and using the soul more instead of the heart to make any decision.
and be someone who is willing to forgive and forget mistakes eventhough its the most hurtful ones ever.
and be someone who listen more than giving out hurtful comments.

okay! this is my wish for 2010.
and 2009 is ending very very soon. and it has been an awesome crazy ride!
and thanks to everyone who is involved to make my 2009 a whirling crazy year! its awesome!

now, im going to have my lunch!
having fish steak with babycarrots and mushroom!

2009-12-30T23:47:00.003+08:00

hello people!! i had an awesome
time just now with dearest man
eventhough i said at the previous
post that im dragging myself.
hah! irony, u bet.

i had new year shopping
and i realised that i love shoes!
especially killer heels.

we watched alvin and chipmunks 2
which boyfriend slept halfway through cos he was damn tired and
he was having headache.

boyfriend has been moody lately.
i understand why.
i mean who wouldnt when u having things not the way u wanted.
nevertheless, i'm always here for you syg. i will always do.
boyfriend's route to success might be longer for him and for us
and this eventually will affect the timing we like to settle down. nevermind, i yakin Allah akan bantu us. insyallah.

anyway, boyfriend has been romantic indirectly or better still, naturally.
:) i love it!

anyway, i didnt gulp down any soft drinks.
and i had auntie anne pretzel, original without butter.
and boyfriend had it too!!

and..
BOYFRIEND WENT DOWN ON HIS KNEES,

TO TIE MY SHOELACES!!!!!:)

sweet right??? i know.
i love my boyfriend alot.
love ya soo much khairul:)
nites!
and thx for the shoes splurging!

2009-12-30T11:58:00.001+08:00

had my celery juice with aloe vera pulps.
and meeting that man of mine later.
not excited but im dragging myself to meet him. pfft.

blew kisses to your face!

2009-12-29T19:41:00.003+08:00

as normal, i'm sipping a hot green tea:) go try it. it's very very nice.
i found new awesome weight loss blogs. if you seriously need a push or motivation, go check for weight loss blogs. it really helps you!

so now, i officially on my weight loss.
no more excuses, no more boyfriend eating out after workouts outings and no more late nights!
and no more sodas! and oily food!!
gonna stick to these since boyfriend himself announced that he is into this fitness thing too!

i'm making tom yam soup with lots of greens and lettuce and fish. lately i have been into soups, especially tomyam soup and seriously its nice with tons of hot peppers and cili padi!

today driving class was okays. the test is coming up soon. the sooner, the better. and i got to do this right since lovely parents have hinted me,a few times! that they are going to get a car. and seriously, getting a licence is expensive!
NO MORE NONSENSE!
and for the fact that i quited my marketing job, insyallah i will do all these properly and get a fruitful outcomes. insyallah!
so now, im job-less BUT NOT aim-less.
I HAVE WEIGHT LOSS AND DRIVING to be attained!

anyways, since im starting to take fruit juice eversince yesterday and the help book dearest mum got it for me, i had some carrot with apples and oranges juice today.
and late breakfast was controlled and no hunger pangs with the help of the fruit juice.
didnt feel hungry until noon. so instead of breakfast i had brunch, consisted of tons of veggies with one egg.
helped sister to make our own version of subway sandwiches since subway is not HALAL in singapore, yet.
we had onions, tuna, sausage bacon, pizza sauce, iceberg lettuce and cheddar cheese baked with baguette.
and i had grilled tuna steak with baby carrots. awesomely sexy!!!

i learnt that if you share your food, it also mean that you are sharing the calories! so dont be afraid to share food as the calories wont totally be absorbed by you alone! hah!

now, im gonna do some meditation before souping up the hot fiery spicy soup!
laters!

let's get started :D

2009-12-28T23:04:00.002+08:00

after pushing aside that fatty oily scrumptious ayam goreng,
i get myself, prolly more of pushing myself into the bathroom and bath.
get myself dressed and make more hot green tea and continue reading those awesome blogs.
sumpah, aku motivated sekarang because I SEE RESULTS! and they keep in contact with me! IF THEY CAN DO IT, so CAN I!
Jen and Amanda; priorfatgirls, boost my esteem despite me don't really know them but they proved me wrong- YOU CAN LOSE WEIGHT!

so i settled with my resolution. (seriously, i don't find the use of it but I'm trying to- according to a self-help weight management book, it does help you!)
and I'm quite shock and surprise and happy when boyfriend told me confidently that he wanna start shaping up.
at last! i got a partner who is into this thing too!!

and you should start loving juice, home-made juice with au natural stuff.
they say, the cloudy the juice is, the better and more vitamins are in it!
and juice should be taken in the morning! its much better than late at night!

im gonna share one of the recipe aite.
(from 'The Miracle of Juice' and courtesy of their awesome recipes!!!!!)
WATERMELON & CELERY JUICE
-1 small stalk of celery
-200g watermelon
-1 apple

method:
1. remove rind fr watermelon and cut it into small pieces
2. peel and remove core from apple, cut it into small portion
3. remove the strings and the leaves fr the celery stalk and cut it into section
4. blend well all the ingredients and serve
.....
why this is good? (according to them):
watermelon is fat free, nutrionally low in calories and considered an ideal diet food and is high in energy making it a great energy boost. celery helps rid the body of excess fluid by stimulating urine production it benefits weight loss. it helps improve your digestion and immune system. frequent consumption of this juice helps to slim down the bottoms.

so, go try and seriously it is nice!! and its for slimming your bottoms:)
just hang up with boyfriend and the man has IPPT tmr, good luck syg!! just give ur best shot!
nites people! have an awesome day tmr!!
and i have driving class besok!

Ya Allah sesungguhnya, kau mengetahui segala-galanya. tunjuklah aku ke jalan yang diredai.

2009-12-28T19:05:00.002+08:00

here i am sipping away green tea with yet to take a shower, reading almost all the weight loss blogs i seen and heard. and guess what, ALMOST ALL OF THEM MAKE IT THROUGH THEIR JOURNEYS!
cool or what?
and this kind giving me a motivation.
IF THEY CAN DO IT SOOOO CAN YOU!!!
and i particular love this blogger, amanda.
she is super hot and gorgeous and her journey she shared was amazing.

i love the recipes they share online and many focusing on becoming vegans.
for me i will just stick to flexitarian.

dinner, and im passing the awesome fried chicken as a start!

LISTING IT DOWN.

2009-12-28T12:53:00.002+08:00

I SWEAR, I HAVE TONS TO SHARE AND BLOG
BUT SOMETHING IS RESTRICTING IT.
I DONT KNOW WHY BUT GONNA GO FIGURE IT.
BE RIGHT BACK SOON.

HO HO HO HAPPY NATAL!

2009-12-25T18:02:00.002+08:00

its christmas today and here i am, far from washing up myself and blewing off the messy gross thing from my nose and settling with hot cup of english breakfast while trying to upload all my pictures from bobbby to the lappie.
and at the same time, WAITING FOR THE STUFFED TURKEY TO BE ROASTED!!
we are eating it with chicken rice instead of mashed buttermilk potatoes. and no wine! instead we having some hot hot tea to go along with it.

the trip to KL was awesome, firslt because we are parents-less.
haaaa.
but the sales there didnt carve any happy faces especially to me.
the stuffs are almost the same, what i mean is that we can get it here.
and the prices-no difference.
so instead of really3 shopping,
i had food hunting.
makan all i want!!!
did buy two tees from grafitti tee for boyfriend
and the rest- not worth due to bad quality and size S was missing most of the time!
we had carl's jr, nippon tei, auntie anne, gelato, 1901 corny dogs and etc.

im gonna go eat now.updating later!!

BACK.

2009-12-25T00:08:00.001+08:00

the trip was awesome.
had alot of fun and tons of shopping.
seriously, shopping wasnt as awesome as last time. the prices are soaring high!
but the food is good. eat stuff that u cant eat here.
and im super moody. kesian boyfriend kena all of it.
till then. nak tido!

2009-12-18T23:38:00.002+08:00

its been a day im back from indonesia and the funny part is that im parent-less since both my parents and my sis are out to KL. and not going to meet them till next two weeks.
cos, it will be my turn then.

the trip firstly went well. very well. thanks to the awesome organisers.
and the shopping spree was heaven!!
bargain and keep on doing that till the sellers had no other choice but to agree to the price we wanted.
we had lunch like bali style.
you know the one you sit in a pondok and on bamboo planks and its over a pond of fresh water fish?
yea, we had that.
didnt try any of the street foods.
anyway, on the first day, my luggage didnt arrive.
they forgot to send it. wtf right?
hah.
we went to Krapton and Borobudur.
and we shop till we drop.
i have tons of pictures. but blogger is not giving me any chance of uploading it.

met boyfie just now and we watch bodyguards and assasins.
long long story but it is super sad.
really super sad.
u should catch it if u are keen in history.

gonna go grannie's early in the morning.
and in two days time, off to KL!!

BACK AGAIN.

2009-12-17T14:50:00.000+08:00

im back and im super tired. once im awake. im gonna tell you EVERYTHING.

i maybe MEAN but i do have SOFT spot for my hotstuff.

2009-12-13T23:42:00.002+08:00

its not nothing new for me to threw and vomit everything out here. and i know I'm super vulgar. gonna work on that, i promise:)

had a great awesome time with my bestfriend. she came and met me before accompanied me to go buy some stuff for my trip. and we had awesome chat and discussion, not forgetting gossips. hah. i miss her soooo much and besok she going off also.

so boyfriend and me had make up to each other. certainly im truly in love with him and every single day i pray to Allah that we are meant for each other.
and me learn; not to give up in any circumstances.
and i've promised boyfriend alr:)

for sure im gonna miss him and all my awesome lovely people.

okay, toodles! bsk flight pagi!!!

i slit u open and let u bleed till the last drop

2009-12-13T10:29:00.003+08:00

i'm seriously fucking fucking cheebs pissed off with him. making a big fucking issue just because of a small freaking mistake i've made. its true i made a big fuss too when you did something wrong, CONTINUOUSLY but this is just a small issue and u said u feel cheated. what the fuck?? you broke too many uncountable promises over and over again yet, ME NEVER EVER said to your fucking face that i feel cheated by u.
you brought this matter almost every single time we argued or even when we are talking nicely. what the fuck wrong with you. and you said you rimas tengok is really making me drawing a line.
how can u say that??? what so u are rimas with me for these 10 months ar????
and you keep on saying me mengarut and merepek in everything i said really ticks me off.
i've made my decision. and not only my will power is strong in the things i wanna achieve. but also in shunning away from you.
im fucking hurt and pissed off.
dont you worry. i wont even wanna see or talk to you again.
and fuck you!

THE BLOODY TICK OFF DAY.

2009-12-12T23:18:00.002+08:00

the day was bloody sucking thanks to the perangai babi boyfriend.
i was on the verge of exploding. sial ar who can fcuking tahan with someone who is affecting the relationship with his bloody problems. hello, u should tell me and share it instead of bottling up macam budak takde otak aku kat sini selalu jadi mangse keadaan kau.

it really ticks me off like giler sial. fcuken boyfriend.
perangai cheebs to fcuking ass!

i was talking to him and he just fcuking ignored me. reason? he was day dreaming.
wat the fcuk? seriously. macam cheebs.
and who give this kind of answer when the girlfriend said im gonna miss you when im going oversea.
and this fcuking clever brainless boyfriend of mine answered;
"buat ape nak miss? kan u going on my working day."
nak kene teranjang or what?
sial ar...
im fucking pissed till now sial.
fcuking brainless sial.

EH, U BETTER THINK BEFORE U TALK AR. FCUKEN.

i want your all.

2009-12-11T21:51:00.002+08:00

seriously, i think it is really really time. TIME TO CHANGE.
me is lazy to find work. i wanna like spend this holiday of mine by working out.
no money, nevermind.
got boyfriend to rely on. haaa.
and seriously, i should cut down my crappy food.
partially is boyfriend's fault. lepas exercise, kiter confirm pergi makan.
haiyo...

but now, i wanna go pack my bags, again.

i'm your biggest fan

2009-12-11T13:35:00.002+08:00

so hello people:) i had my H1N1 flu vaccine just now and my arm is still feeling kinda numb after the jab.

and sister cried during the jad procedure like a small baby:)

TGIF! so how's friday people??

me is super excited as on monday im off to indonesia:D

and next next week, im off to KL.

:))

i dont know how many times i have been telling these trips on my blog. haaa

so i'll be meeting babylove tomorrow before going off. and he is now sleeping and not working:)

gonna watch zombieland tmr.

myoh!my. me is getting gemok. haaa. makan, makan and more makan.

confirm boyfriend bising. seriously, my discipline level varies at times. i mean most of the times. and it gets worse during exam period. tu part, fuh! emotional eating. binge and binge until cannot take it. and confirm i will vomit all out. haaa. must control. haaa. i will and the success of people losing weight with food diary is very very high. i think i should do that too.

sidetrack, i got sooo into lady gaga's songs that i bought 3 albums. all her songs. and i think i wanna get katy perry acoustic version. the songs sedap maut!

and im gonna get that topshop's boot. it looks sooo adorable.

now, gonna get back to footballmanager. see ya around.

i love you khairul pantat!

2009-12-10T20:06:00.002+08:00

caught princess and the frog and it was awesomely romantic:)
and mum is asking me to re-check my luggage again. to see if i miss anything out.
and i must bring extra bags for shopping later!
after touch down on the 17th, mum is going away on 18th to kl and on 21st, im gonna go there.
nampak gaye i wont meet my mum and dad and sister lah next next week!!

boyfriend is working now and cant wait to meet him this saturday.
for now, i shall eat cereal while watching movies:)
good day people!

somebody to love

2009-12-10T13:54:00.001+08:00

im addicted to leighton meester's song somebody to love :)
its super nice.
go hear it:))

lovebug.

2009-12-09T22:43:00.002+08:00

well oh well.
despite all heartaches, boyfriend just know how to mend my broken heart and make me fall in love again.
haaaa.
sickening or what????

next week im off to indonesia!!
and saye makin fatter!
haaa. im going to burn my fats dont you worry!!
okay, gonna go play taebo and wait for bubu to call.

heartless will be.

2009-12-09T10:54:00.002+08:00

after that night conversation, i come to realise that men, no matter how nice they are, their egos will always fly high and they can be mean monsters of words when you trying your best to talk things out.
these past few days, he took out on me like a punching bag. fuck human norms when you are tired. people have choices. to either make efforts in everything they do or just don't give a shit.
and for the fact that you and me are two different personalities people, it harder than i thought to give opinions.
and boyfriends don't hurt their girlfriends verbally. they don't bring down their girlfriends.
tell me, who would not feel fucking hurt when the boyfriends call the girlfriends nonsense and full of rubbish when you bring up the issues that are going on in the relationship?
whose boyfriend would do that? mine will!
and for the fact that i tried hard not to hurt his feelings, he took advantage of it.
fuck you.
and you keep on bringing the fights we had before just turned me off.
now, i don't know what is our status.
better save it before i turn heartless.

your lips like sugar.

2009-12-08T23:01:00.002+08:00

i gotta admit that im a person who is aimless, jobless, penny-less and awesome-less.
im in need of money but im freaking lazy to work.
why?
cos im off for holidays very soon!
next week je dok!
K-trip is postponed till next year feb!!:'(
nevermind, still got two other trips to enjoy.
anw, met up with cousin who was just done with her exams.
de-stress katekanlah..
had korean food and anderson ice cream for dessert before roaming around, discussing issues that popped in the mind.
during this time, me and boyfie were arguing.
nothing new right? i know.
sometimes i wonder what im doing with him and yet i couldnt get the answer for it.
nevertheless i love this boy to bits!!
:)
I LOVE YOU MUHAMMAD KHAIRUL NIZAM!!!
walaupun u kadanag2 macam sial:)

no humanity.

2009-12-08T10:39:00.003+08:00

i was super upset after reading nurin's story; the Malaysian girl who was kidnapped and molested and was then killed. the parents waited with all hopes that their daughter will be found alive after almost 2 weeks gone. but, it turned out that she was killed. whoever did this to her should have the dick chop off and stuck in the mouth!. how can someone do this to a kid. hello, she is just a small girl!! they found out that both her front and back private parts were torn due to insertions of cucumber and brinjal! what the fuck? inhuman dick-headed guys! these guys are mentally sick!!! not only nurin has been the victim. other small girls in the country were victimised the same ways! this girl was found naked and covered with blood around her private parts and nearly died!
when i read about these stories, i was fucking upset and pissed. how can someone do these to small girls. SMALL GIRLS??!!! fuck up sial these sickening dickheaded men!!!
these kind of guys should be tortured the same way! fuck their assholes till bleed and skin them alive. fucking pissed sial.
where is the humanity?? takkan budak kecil pun nak dikerjakan? tak cukop perempuan ke untuk lepaskan nafsu korang???
these kind of men should let them rot in cell and may God show no mercy to them.
i know a girl who was molested when she was only 5 by her caretaker's husband. and it was difficult when he wanted to menunaikan umrah dier kerana kesalahan yang dier lakukan. this kind of men should really have their dick chop off. and there was this girl who was molested by her own cousin! fuck up sial. what's wrong with you men??? and all these girls i know are way way stronger and better women now with great careers and settling down soon to start a family.
call me feminist, but women are always treated more of sex slaves and punching bags! don't deny but its the reality.
in third world countries, women are still mutilated and women died in the hands of violence.
sampai biler all these will continue.
and seriously, fairness of genders? think again.
if fairness of genders are really really instilled, all these shits wont happen.
so now, who to be blamed??
something has to be done.

on the nerves.

2009-12-07T23:49:00.002+08:00

sial ar. today the boy really freaking testing my nerves off!!!
ergh! bingit giler siak! mcm nak sepak sey muke dier!!!
....
bingit!!!!

burning the sexy scent.

2009-12-07T10:40:00.002+08:00

im super inspired by some people whom i kinda know through the net and they have been good listeners and advisors, giving awesome advices almost on everything!

boyfriend is way way at work while im at home, cleaning the house before heading to grannie's.
doing the laundry now while emailing a friend of mine in US.
anyway, today is our 9 monthsary. i know our relationship is kinda young but it will grow and nuture!
ohh baby!!! i love you:)

later people.
and maybe i would wanna set up my own weight loss online diary!

the day of you and me kissing without stopping:)

2009-12-07T00:08:00.002+08:00

i had a blasting day today despite me and boyfie had a minor argument along the way and me feeling all sooo grumpy because im down with period. pfft.
today is practically walking aimlessly day:)
and!!! i didnt bring bobbby along!!!!!
we had lunch at marina square before heading to suntec and i nearly bought 4 heels!! but only gotten one of in. macam gladiator style with 4 inch only.
haaa. cos it's damn cheap.
we checked out 313@ somerset and boyfie got sooo upset on hmv is closing at heeren.
haaaa.
and we had dinner at coffee bean at orchard central before heading down to city hall, again. to buy the albums he wanted
due to that!! he didnt get me my storybooks.
pantat nye boyfriend.
humphf!
and boyfriend was damn crazy lah, dancing around and laughing non-stop.
and he even said!!!
"you are supersmart like supermarket!"
yelah.. punye lame
and he is getting gemok!!!
hahaha and his new nick is santapig nippler!
hahahaha
anw,

HAPPY MONTHSARY SAYANG!!!!
may Allah ALWAYS bless us and our relationship and making us better and stronger humans to go through all ups and downs together till we are officially belong to each other.
amin, amin:)
i love you sooo much muhammad khairul nizam. i swear i really do:)

all the boys and the girls.

2009-12-06T10:42:00.002+08:00

i woke up just now, going straight to the loo and bath- that is something i dont really do. i will take my own sweet time to bath as i will love to explore what's mum is cooking or go back straight to sleep.
haaa. boyfriend will be proud of me:)

and lately that boyfriend has cracked his bad habits too, and that makes me sooo very proud.
hahahaha.
and eversince after that heart to heart talk which was hurtful for both sides but it seems to work as we kinda change some styles of ours to suit to each others needs.

and i've picked up a new food habit! eating all wholemeal stuff and now im really stuck with yoghurt!!!
ate this awesome one at carrefour yesterday. it consisted blueberry yoghurt, granola yoghurt and strawberry yoghurt with raisins as topping! sedap!!! go try it ohkays!!!

will be meeting boyfriend later after workout. see ya later!
and to my friends who are running for standard chartered, good luck!!:))

kiss me thru the phone

2009-12-05T21:30:00.002+08:00

the funny thing despite having advanced technology is that phonecalls aren't pick up on time. get what i mean? no.
haaa. me and boyfie were like having i-call-you-yet-you-dont-pick-up-and-me-dont-pick-up-also moments.
ergh...
anw, im back. baby didnt go out instead he was all pissed off with his game. sayang, it is just a game.
did groceries with mum and shopping too! bought some tees and shoes.
like dad always says, selagi boleh sign, sign aje..
and soon im gonna go overseas!
so long!!!
ps! i watched spongebob show just now at suntec!!:))

play paperplanes while blowing bubbles.

2009-12-05T08:41:00.002+08:00

sinced boyfriend gonna have his kenduri at nite, he is gonna kill his time by going off to HMV without me. ergh. menyampah. his reason: takot nanti dah meet u tak balek spi ke besok.
nevermind syg, i myself got plans today. gonna go out with mum and go to idah's piano concert and off to someone engagement. ergh.
see keluar means = no amore!!! argh!!!!
hahahahahahaaha
but will make up to that.
now, gonna get ready, gonna slap some faces and eat some wholly good mushroon soup:)

I LOVE YOU syg, thank for being nice despite me was very grumpy because my shin punye kulit torn and it was very painful and i couldn't sleep while waiting for you. i love you. and walaupun u love to have ur own quality time and kinda pissed me off.
i love you muhammad khairul nizam:)

kiss me quick!

2009-12-04T19:32:00.002+08:00

i did a new schedule for myself on the things i will do and on the list now is my amore. i have to make full use of the amount mum had forked out for me. and boyfriend is being sucha nice boyfriend to give all the moral support:).
and today boyfriend is on leave cos he is freaking lazy to work and he wants to complete his resident evil 5 pc game. ugh.
and tmr we are not meeting as his familie is having kenduri arwah.. so nampaknye on sunday lah, after my workout session.
and i think i have to go for my sister's piano concert.
and i had a blast just now. did 2 solid hours of training. while bestie texting me telling how much he wants to eat kfc and he wants to find a curvy girl who loves to eat. ini mamat tak padan kecik..

okay, i think i wanna go bath and sleep. nites!

a skinny lanky yet belly boyfriend sitting down looking like a monkey.

2009-12-04T10:48:00.002+08:00

as you know that both boyfie and me are arguing but everything ended last night at 8, where both of us gave in to each other. its something different as i dont usual like to admit or raise white flag!! haaa. and i decide to be more down to earth and brushing ego aside to make this work.

I SWEAR, in the name of God, this is the first time, me loving a guy soo much. seriously, im one ego person. its hard to give in yaw.
haaaa.
anw, this boy of mine is cuddling away in his bed as he just came back from work..
I LOVE YOU BABY, I SWEAR I DO LOVE YOU PANTAT!

drawing the line.

2009-12-03T17:06:00.002+08:00

seriously, boyfriend has been on my nerves these few days and im feeling something is kinda missing.
ergh.
hate this feeling.
and its kinda pissed me off when ur boyfriend just now how to blabber about what he wants and stuff. eh, hello? never think of what i feel ar??
bloody sucker.
ergh, im gonna like snap soon.
wish me luck, if i can sustain being patience.

he makes me heart beats fast and slow at the same time.

2009-12-02T22:03:00.003+08:00

this is the only MAN who can make me stop sulking and being such a pettypoo despite me angry like one crazy maniac!!

sometimes things that happen in ur life without u expecting have more impact and affect u in alot of ways way way way beyond what u imagine. and this happens to me.

having this crazy wacko boyfriend of mine is like the light to all the dark default heartbreaks. call me mushy but i felt it!!

haaaa. anw, things between me and boyfriend are way awesome.

we fight, i cry, he pissy and we make up with lots of love:))

and i swear, he is the only one who loves, loves to say :

i love you forever and sayang punye pasal, i sanggup buat ape2 utk u.

awww... i love you baby!! i swear i do.

insyallah we will last till eternity, amin:)

i'm addicted to your light...

2009-12-02T17:40:00.002+08:00

how sweet are they????
i love them both to bits!!!

anyways, i wasnt in the right mood to be nice and i was having wild thoughts about my relationship. you know, this feeling that cause u to go super super sad and angry. i got that feeling. it was bad as i was sooooo angry that i feel like giving up what we have!!! ergh. pms plays a part too. dont push on it yaw.

im very insecure. super insecure with myself. and now, this feeling is getting worst. what's happening???

back on the floor.

2009-12-01T22:20:00.001+08:00

it's been awhile. super awhile. and i have tons to update!!! alot and alot of things to whine and as usual picture-less, thanks to ME for being bloody lazy. SUPER PLAIN LAZY. idk why, but I'm plain lazy. however, i promise to bring bobbby along in any dates with boyfriend or and my outings with friends. i promise:)

anw, IM DONE WITH MY ALEVELS!!!!!:D
when i was doing the management paper, my mind went; let it end! let it end! let it end!!
it went well, alhamdulilah:D
and after that, went to bugis to meet familie to make my new specs with transition lens!! woohoo.
and its in purple! saye suke!!!:D
and sister had her yangin exams kat NUS. and she was the only malay and the rest were you know it lah who.

oh!oh! me and boyfriend watched NINJA ASSASIN!!! ohhhhmieeegods!!!! rain's body is sexilious!!!!! can cair and keep on melting. hot giler!! that's what guys will get of they train hard for 5-6 months and eating only lil' carbs, lots of proteins and high fibre!! seriously, hot giler untok cheeechhhoooonnngggg peperl
and boyfie spent soooo much that i got soooo fed up because he was spending without thinking. stupid boy and we kinda argued and i sulked and ignored him almost an hour until he was kind enough to massage my head and not sleeping. he always remind me that; sayang nye pasal, i sanggup buat utk u. awwww.sweet or what???
but me, loves to merajok and sulk. almost every single time. until he gets bored and ignored me and me entertained myself and being me by telling him i wanna complain to the world and my homies so that they can bash him up for not taking care of me. HA-HA. bashing up? will never happens lah unless he use violence, which i think it wont happen. HA-HA.
but sometimes, boys can be just as mean as girls. i prefer to be mean verbally. but boyfriend, always, always give in to me, most of the time. aku ni betol lah suke carik kemarahan orang. nak kene rotan! HA-HA.
and boyfriend nags at me saying I'm putting weight because me love to eat. i eat whatever i like. now the sexiest thing in my head is macaroons. MACAROONS are like the sex without the sex. like ultimate pleasure and u wont get sick of it. and i;ve been munching on it almost everyday and thank BAKERZINS for being sucha nice bakery to sell it at a buck for each macaroons. APE LAGI! aku bedal ah! each time keluar amore kat jp, mesti beli. its just opposite and its super tempting lah!!

and did u know, got this old lady ketok my house after maghrib and continuously doing it for 20 mins. and she was staring at my kitchen's window as it was opened after maghrib and when she rang the doorbells a few times and me not opening it, she went to the third level to see at my window. when she saw my window was closed. she rang the doorbell again. i dont know what kind of strength was instill in me that i wasn't that scared. seriously, if she entered, i would have beat her ar! and if that bloody asshole hantar, bende2 gini, i can only doakan the person change.
NOTHING IS STRONGER AND MIGHTIER THAN ALLAH SWT.
u are not the DEITY. u are NOTHING. JUST PLAIN HUMAN BEING WHO IS FILL WITH LOTS OF HATREDS AND ANGER AND VENGEANCE.. i can only pray and pray cos everything is in GOD'S HANDS. u are nothing.
and seriously, don't be scared if that kinda old creepy lady rang ur doorbell after maghrib, just don't open the door. and just continuously pray and always remember ALLAH as He is the One who Guards the right people from dangers, amin.

also, when i told boyfriend this, he was super worried that he asked his mum to not open the doors as well. and being nice and worried about my safety and being a responsible boyfriend, he send me to the gate before going off.

did i tell you my boyfriend is sucha sweet person. everytime i merajok with him and send him hurtful messages, he will always apologise as he knows it was kind of his fault eventhough its a small issue. and IF U EVER NEED DOMESTIC HELPER, do holler me cos my boyfriend is a good cleanerholic. seriously, he cleans all the time!
another hobby of his lah.

okay, im done. now im gonna shower and wait for dearest boyfriend to call.
love you all and may allah bless you all always!!!:)

be nice!

2009-11-26T20:10:00.002+08:00

seriously, i just get freaking annoyed with the way his sister talked to me. me asking about him nicely, got his bloody sister's freaking attitude.
ergh. bloody annoyed!
seriously, say nicely when people asked politely.
...
me, still belom mandi, feeling all angry and pissed.
perangai sak satu satu.
and boyfriend is being an asshole today.
nak test aku je. fed up siol.
ikotkan hati, i feel like ignoring him till next year.
anw, me like bodoh, didnt bring bobbby out, again.
hopeless ar aku ni.
and boyfie and me met my aunt kat dlm bus.
which i think she got it figured it out that boyfie is my boyfriend lah.
duh..
we went shopping and catch a movie.
and soon! im gonn go overseas!!
and im landing myself at indonesia also!!!
hurhur.
okay, now im gonna go play CS while waiting for this bodoh nak mampos yet sayang giler babi punye lelaki.
tc ppl
and selamat hari raya haji!

2009-11-26T14:55:00.001+08:00

im bloody bored and feel super irritated in this hot weather and for the fact that im still having paper on tuesday just kill me alot. ugh.
OHHHH BOYFRIEND WHERE THE HECK ARE U????
;(

2009-11-25T19:49:00.001+08:00

CANT WAIT FOR THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!

out of the mind.

2009-11-23T19:54:00.002+08:00

im in a pell-mell situation now.
i have :
1. mob paper 2
2. to fully used up the 3000 bucks mama spent on amore
3. to change for the better.
yes, im confused.
my body is charging against me. its like me fighting with me.
argh! i need to workout!!!
and i need to end Alevels soon!!! biler ni mau mob paper??

bring me

2009-11-22T10:47:00.002+08:00

well oh well. here i am, alwys getting in trouble with cuts and bruises due to me loving to do all the rough stuffs, i mean, like playing futsal and catching up with kickboxing.
and the other time i played catching with my siblings and hit my right foot somewhere hard and cause it to be swollen.
and the fun side of it is it tore up the skin and it bleed.
amazing or what?
and now im limping away and still wanna go play futsal later. haa.
and dearest boyfriend nags because im bloody careless. tell you, i've getting alot of cuts this year.
haaaa.
and now, i have to bring myself to see the doctor.
cos mama is shouting across the room, telling reasons on why i should go and visit the doctor:)

2009-11-21T13:16:00.002+08:00

i just feel like ending it.
seriously, idk how to face this again,
maybe this is goodbye?
idk. you decide.

smack on the big forehead

2009-11-21T09:37:00.002+08:00

knowing im super whinny and me very angst teenager who refuse to take any advice and yell vulgarities around, i believe, its time to repent.
we had a hard time arguing, both bobble-headed and refuse to give in, exceptional of boyfriend who tried very hard to give in to me.
haaa. i know, i know, my perangai is like an arse.
and we nearly let go but i know i couldnt do it.
entah kenape ngn khairul lain sikit.
i promise to be a better girlfriend and someone better in the future:)
i love you khairul! haha

what did you say??

2009-11-20T22:32:00.002+08:00

today's attempt to study the whole day failed with me not able to concentrate despite tried extremely hard and the hunger pangs in tummy.
right. haaa. so hafiz and me met up at cb and we kinda studied before heading to victory to makan nasi briyani and sumpah, this is the first time i habes the food.
and we met masuri at the library secare kebetolan and read magazines from sexay ones to corny ones! woohoo!!!
and the fun times ended with me going home alone and now being fucking mad.
sometimes guys can be super insensitive.
and me dont like it. it sucky.
and for the funfact that now we are arguing, i have no mood to meet him for the rest of the week.
eh boyfriend! u can go swim alone!
me hate u this week!!!

saving grace

2009-11-19T10:26:00.002+08:00

i had that one to one talk with boyfriend and it went great.
i've learn to realise that maybe its worthy afterall, going through all the heartaches and pains before getting with him.
and the funny fact is that we dont know what made us to get attached together cos i only remembered that he wants me to be his girlfriend on the 7th march.
:)
and everytime i recall back the fights we had and me trying to let go of him, make me feel super stupid and will never ever do that again.
and he is the only guy who will always tell me that he loves me forever.
differences between khairul and me are out of the world.
and they always say that opposite attracts. and i guess its true.
and each day, i pray our relationship will always be given Allah's blessings.
i love you sooo much khairul nizam, i swear i do.

hit me like a run of sun, burning through my darkest night, you're the only one that i want, u got me addicted to your light... ilysm baby

i've got a feeling.

2009-11-18T19:59:00.002+08:00

boyfriend who was sounding super serious, told me that he got this huge feeling that i will be one lustful person. and he cant wait for it. wtf?
and he declared that he loves my fats more than me. wtf?
and he displayed more affection towards his bestfriend who is a guy and attached than me. wtf?
and he told me off that he is selfish and wanna sell fish in the future. wtf?
and he confessed that he needs his computer games more than me. wtf?
bloody boyfriend.
yet, ilysm!

sometimes it doesnt worth.

2009-11-17T19:56:00.002+08:00

dinner was at swensons and seriously, i find it not to expectation.
mak kau!! the brownie was bloody burnt!!!
and im super mad.
but boyfriend is nowhere to be found. narbey

BAD TO THE BONES YAW!

2009-11-17T08:10:00.002+08:00

oh hello world!!! its been a long long long not updating this blog.
well, life has been crazy machine tryna dance its way through the rough crowd.
when i thought i couldnt breathe through for straight 5 days of Alevels, alhamdullilah, i've made it:D and now, i can really feel the burden is off the shoulder except for MOB which paper is on the 1st december.
and for the fact that i realised how boring is my blog without any uploadings of pictures!!
and thanks to my sheer laziness on bringing EOS camera aka bobbby out to join dates with boyfriend or even friends!
i bet bobbby is super mad at me:(
i need new lens for bobbby. seriously.
and for the awesome fact that im bloody broke.
yes, broke = no money but wanna spend like rich bitch.
and money had been used for my cravings of chocolate and boyfriend is bloody pissed with it.
well, when u are under stress, u eat alot to satisfy yourself.
now, must go back amore, go trim myself and feed myself with sweat and more sweat!
last paper to go yet im slacking and malas to study!!
here i am waiting for dearest boyfriend to wake up. i missed him sooo much despite yesterday we just met.
go to tell you that, boyfriend and me love to get on each other nerves and hurt each other feelings to get that sense of satisfaction and then make up to each other.
gila or what? more to emotion sadistic i guess.
and before we met, we were shouting at each other on the phone; i was the one who shouted due to his bloody take his own sweet time to do things and changing plans!
and when we met, i tried my very best to stay angry and avoid him but plans failed cos he was so hot that i melt deep inside and yes for the fact that, i missed him.
we caught 2012 which is abit crappy. aku tak boleh duduk diam!!! and boyfriend is getting pekak very very soon. or maybe he is getting taller or im getting shorter because im getting montel!! hahahaha
anws, i pray that everything gonna happen smoothly and diet pls!! must lose weigth must lose weight!!
and after exams!! lets goooo traveling!!!!

i've drifted yet the current pull me back.

2009-11-11T16:56:00.002+08:00

alevels came and its staying till first december. and most papers ending this week.
phew! cant wait for it sey.
and life has been peaceful and abit of serenity.
boyfriend and me prefer to argue first before make up to each other.
and going off for holidays, meaning no meeting bubu,
and not gonna meet him for these two weeks cos we both caught up with stuffs that cant be avoid.
ugh.
yet, baby is making effort to take a day off supersoon.
missing him damn badly and bubu has been very nice and understanding especially with my cranky-ness and my crazy moodswing, im glad he is able to endure.
me put on weight. haaa. gonna hit back amore very very soon.
and me love him sooo much!

2009-11-05T22:23:00.000+08:00

boyfriend has been the nicest thing on earth
and soon i will get slaughter.

BOYFRIEND, u suck poo poo yet i love you!!

2009-10-25T23:42:00.001+08:00

i know, i can be whiny at times.
can be sucha fcuker.
can be a vulgar bitch when u pressed on the wrong nerve,
but, u will always be the bubu i truly love.
i love you so much bubu.
despite we had heated shits just now but u will always be the person i adore.
thanks for the sweet and short meet up.
it means alot to me...and i know, u love me too!!
:D
now i cant wait to meet u in 4 days time!!

crazy crazy ride.

2009-10-24T00:08:00.002+08:00

yes, i know that i have not been updating since god knows when due to certain circumstances that im stucked with and have to deal with it.
two straight weeks off from school was tremendously gila as it was the longest i had to absent myself due to lungs infection.
yes, i had lungs infection which made me crazy.
anws, yesterday was graduation tea.
well, its mixed emotions deep down inside.
reminiscing the 3 fun, crazy, pell-mell, intricate years in MI, really open up my eager eyes.
and once Alevels done, moving forward to another chapter of life.
and who knows, this time round, people around me, will start settling down and have babies just like sara!!
haaaa
sometimes words are hard to explain and certain things are better kept seal in ur memories.
good luck people for Alevels..
and i see when i see you:D

boohoo.

2009-10-12T20:00:00.002+08:00

its a record! i havent been in school since my last last thursday
and im only going back this wed.
and for the record, im having infection at my windpipe and my lungs are kinda watery; according to dear dear doctor.
oh well.
i miss sch but at least im on a full gear of revision!
okays, back to the books!

2009-10-10T14:17:00.001+08:00

bloody flu and cough and everything yucky.

2009-10-08T15:39:00.002+08:00

terrible week of the year!
this is the first time me not coming school for almost a week!
sore tonsils and flu are driving me nuts.
and it bored me to death being at home. oh dear.
but i make time to study :D
to bubu, i love u sooo much:)

2009-10-07T09:58:00.002+08:00

after all the ups and downs we went through,
after all the flaws we faced and felt,
after all the cryings and hurtings we made,
after all the make ups after all the fights,
after all the assumptions we guessed,
after all the sarcasms and vulgarities flew high in skies,
after all the nonsense talks and stupid silly arguments,
i will always love you
and i sincerely know that you will always love me.
and may Allah bless and give His blessing for our relationship to bloom and grow stronger to face any ups and downs that are ahead of us.
to bubulove, happy monthsary syg may we last till eternity and i love you very much:)

anws, i've been away from school almost a week and i havent recover from the swollen tonsils. yucks. hate it. but its been very productive days. been revising alot:D and i cant wait to sit for papers. the sooner we go thru, the faster it goes away:D

2009-10-01T20:34:00.000+08:00

damn pissy to the max.

2009-10-01T09:46:00.001+08:00

right. Done with check up and meet the doc and gotten mc for two days. Down with stupid flu. Okay now gonna go home and take the medicines and go sleep

let me see you do the sidekick.

2009-09-30T23:30:00.003+08:00

well..oh..wells.
met up with dearest bubu and both got cranky to the max
and we had a tiff before we watched cloudy with something meatballs, cant remember the actual tittle.
and we ended up cuddling during the movie and we're okay by then.
yes, im sensitive and boyfie is insensitive
yes, i can be rude sometimes and boyfie can be sarcastic.
see..our invalidated and crude flaws that need to change for the bette rof our relationship.
also, we are two opposite people on earth.
and both were wondering how we got hitch superfast and alhamdulilah, it's been a great journey too and insyallah it will be a long lasting one.
im super lazy wanna go school
another month and then hello Alevels.
gonna use wats left for the best cos miracles do happen with hardwork.
ilysm bubu and i love us.
and lots of work gonna take place. insyallah, things will be fine and alright:D

ohh.

2009-09-27T21:52:00.003+08:00

okays.. its gonna be personal with a touch of mixed emotions.

has been visting both maternal and paternal sides.
and i swear, i've been missing my late mak long sooo much.
everytime i visited paternal side, they will always talk about late mak long.
late mak long didnt get the chance to see me grow up, just like late grandpa.
mak long left when i was only 6 years old where i still was not being able to understand the meaning of parted through death.
so they reminisced, telling that i was the baby in the old cousins clan.
yes, i was the baby.
and they were making commotions on me being attached.
mampos lah si bubu..kene soal siasat nanti. hahaha

bsk kene get back to normal routine. raye ni ehk, buat aku gila makan kuih muih dan lauk pauknye!

2009-09-26T22:42:00.002+08:00

ohkays, i havent been studying eversince the last paper ended which was on wednesday morning which on the afternoon i lepak and go get starbucks and get myself paranoid. and on thurs, my aunts and cousin came AND BLOODY FOUGHT WITH MY BITTERSWEET BOYFRIEND and yes, not forgetting all the games i've played:D. the bittersweetness ended yesterday with an explosive and crux behaviour of arguing and ended up chargin and sucking each other thumbs which we ended it nicely when we met and bubu was consoling me, getting me back and using apparent 'i-love-you-so-much' tactic which is my biggest weakness. oh wells, we DO AND ALWAYS LOVE EACH OTHER DEAR DEAR DEARLY. and it is not STILL; u can love someone today and the next day u dont.

ohkays, i admit. im very demanding, strict and full of nonsenses.
so what u gonna do??

so bubu and i watched inglorious bastards which was superb.
and lots of bloodshed.
and yes, we love each other.
:D

today, i didnt do anything except for fb-ing, went market to get what mama asked and read history.
is that consider belajar-ing??

2009-09-22T07:28:00.002+08:00

alot of events are happening at the same time. take a look at prelims which colide with hari raya celebration.
and i was wondering. why and why people unleashing their deadliest sins around despite they seek forgiveness.
oh whyy ohh why?
and one more thing, why preech about things that you dont really know the whole picture?
just because someone acts differently doesnt mean she/he does all the sins badly?
atleast, being honest is better than covering up the facts from the reality.
tsk.tsk. grow up lah.
maybe u're a risk taker but everyone has its fear
idk. but its not a biggie for judgemental people to come and give their comments.
pathetic fools.
ohwells, life is a bitch or the person itself cause it to be bitchy:)

♥, im on a semi hiatus.

2009-09-20T01:13:00.003+08:00

got my dorothy perkins package.
thought of buying elizabeth and james clothings.
see how.
anws, im getting fatter. hahaa.
asyik makan aje.
and bubu sudah memekak sey.
my parents also cos they investing super dupermuch.
seriously, im not in the mood to raya and i have much stuff on my list to get it.
i sooo cant wait to start working heh.
boyfie is working tomorrow and he wont be celebrating raya.
but we gonna celebrate it next week instead.
i think we going picnic or something.
for sure thmr will be tiring.
how to study??
i need to refocus.
no more distractions.
and bye bye games and lappie till dec.
see you all soon.
love ya!! ♥ ♥

2009-09-19T21:29:00.002+08:00

this year will be the year im spending my raya with dearest boyfriend.
i thought i wont fall in love again.
i thought i wont be with anyone yet, this year, im super glad that i got bubu as my baby

2009-09-19T15:17:00.001+08:00

i dowan to raya. i swear im not lookg forward to it.
i havent revise back as the house is in the mess and i have to clean up.
i havent shrink down cos my appetite grows when im under stress
im ignoring my bloody boyfriend and my bloody parents.
i fucking fucking dowan to raya.
ohkays.

broke it hard.

2009-09-18T23:16:00.002+08:00

the meet up turned out fucking sucky.
and this time round, i feel dat, i dowan contact him anymore.
whatever with love, it hurts super much.
i cried. oh well, he doesnt love me. wtd?
i feeling pissy all, now

2009-09-17T22:25:00.002+08:00

today is super productive.
not in terms of studying.. but in terms of preparation for raya.
baked kek lapis, mini cuppies and macaroons.
yumm-eh.
and i've been baking since 3 pm till now.
and i've been playing games from just now.
ohkay, going out to walk to get my frappe!!
:D